A missery sadness

I felt myself sinking into the night curtain, fixed in place like a stone, like a tree, a small motionless shape.
I quietly went out of the door and stepped toward the river perhaps it was normal state to me. Maybe he did not care what I want to do. My brain and eyes ached making a conscious effort. He took some steps toward me. I tried to think of something suitable to say but my mouth was so dry and bitter, my tongue so stiff, my lips so dried out and cracked I could barely utter a word.
I kept waiting for the first taste of crying that comes into my throat before I really get come, that feeling here the misery sadness and meaningless despair. Coming back home, sitting in silence, remembering youth and love of my life. I like to be a child who has never actually known what is the first necessity taught in life up to the child is old enough to add anythings to the mind. I though of it and forgot what has just happened!
So I shut the door quick and stood right quiet and soon I heard his enter the other side of my house.